When you’re out and about for the day, there is nothing worse than realizing you have nothing healthy to eat when hunger strikes. These No-Bake Apple Pie Energy Bites come together in minutes and will save you from having to stop at the closest 7-11 for an unhealthy snack.
Like yesterday. These totally came in handy yesterday. Oh my goodness.
So let me tell you – I have been terrified of the eye doctor for years. He’s almost as bad as the dentist… eek, that’s another story for another day.
I hadn’t been to the eye doctor since I was in 4th grade. Eyeballs just freak me out, and the thought of anyone getting near my eyeball to look at it, touch it, or blow air into it sends me into a full blown sweaty-palm panic attack.
But I have been having eye pain for at least the last 6 months, so I knew I had to bite the bullet and just make an appointment to make sure I didn’t have anything seriously wrong with the muscles behind my eye.
Between the massive headaches I get and the eye pain I was getting on a daily basis, I was having horrible thoughts of a huge tumor behind my eye. Call me a worry wart, but I blame it all on my dad. He’s a master at thinking the worst of any situation, blowing it out of proportion, and then spending hours, days, and weeks just stressing himself out about it.
So I got all geared up to go to my appointment yesterday. And by geared up, I mean I drank a bottle of wine on the way there…
No, I had prepped myself to the idea of a machine blowing air into my eyes and my eye being pried open in an attempt to get eye drops in them. None of it sounded pleasant, but I knew I had to do it.
So I get there. No kids are screaming in the back, so I figure that’s a good sign. They call me back, and we talk about how bad my eyes hurt and all the headaches I get, and then the real fun begins.
She takes pictures of my eyes with a machine, and then the nurse says she’ll be dilating my eyes.
“Don’t worry. You’ll still be able to drive!” FAMOUS.LAST.WORDS.
Seriously, whoever the hell thinks it’s okay to drive with your eyes dilated does not care about the safety of their patients OR all the other people on the road! Absolute stupidity.
So we proceed with the drops. And I was right – there was no way my eyeballs were having it. My eyelids were doing their job and protecting those beauties of mine. I’m surprised the nurse didn’t have to get a special machine to hold them open. No matter how much I wanted to cooperate, my eyelids had another agenda. Thankfully, this was not the nurse’s first rodeo, so she managed.
And within 5 minutes, my vision was at about the level of 5 tequila shots (seriously, if you ever want to know what drunk looks like, get your eyes dilated!).
Doc comes in, we chat, he checks things out, tells me I have an astigmatism and need part-time glasses for the computer and night driving, hands me a script, and I’m on my way. But of course, they want me to go look at the frames they have… exactly how I will do this, I don’t know. Because I cannot see anything. The shapes of the frames, I can see alright. but the prices, not a chance. I think this is a new sales tactic actually. Blur their vision and direct them toward the designer frames.
Suffice to say, I will be going back today when I’m not blind and picking out some sweet black-rimmed hipster frames for my football shapes eyes.
The most exciting part though was AFTER the appointment. I get in the car, look at my phone to text the wife and realize I can’t see shit. It’s a big ole blur. Then I look at the clock… nope. Then I open my planner to see the directions I had written to get me to my next destination… nada. (yes, I’m old school and don’t always rely on gps)
Welp, I guess I’ll just start driving and hope I get somewhat close. Thankful for big colorful icons on my phone, I try calling the wife to ask her for directions. Of course her phone’s dead. Fantastic. It’s not like I can read street signs anyway!
The whole time I’m driving, I’m just thinking that I shouldn’t be on the road. I shouldn’t be allowed to drive. This feels worse than drunk driving, and that’s definitely illegal, so why is dilated driving legal? Someone tell me I’m not alone in this thought!
Well, the good news is that I made it to where I needed to go (tattoo shop!). The bad news. I was starving and had 3 hours of ink ahead of me.
The good news… I had 2 of these No-Bake Apple Pie Bars in a container in my purse. Total win! I made them in about 5 minutes the day before and knew they’d come in handy for running errands or for giving the kiddo after school or karate. Just 4 main ingredients and you’re golden!
If you’re looking for more healthy bars:
- 2 apples
- 10 dates , pitted
- 1/2 cup almonds
- 2 cups old-fashioned oats
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
Line an 8x8 pan with parchment paper and set aside.
Peel and core apples. Cut them into large chunks.
Place apples, dates, almonds, and oats in a food processor or blender.
Pulse ingredients until they come together in a thick paste. Spoon mixture into prepared pan and press in an even layer. I like to line the pan so there's extra parchment on either side so it can be folded over on top of the mixture. That way I can press down on the parchment with my hands or the bottom of a glass to create a smooth bar.
Cover and place in the fridge for about 2 hours to set. Remove from fridge, cut into 10 bars, and place in an air-tight container in the fridge.
If you make this recipe, be sure to snap a picture, upload it to Instagram and tag me (@happyfoodholly) and use the hashtag #inspiredbyholly
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