Clothes. I have a love/hate relationship with clothes. Finding the right outfit for an occasion. Mixing and matching. Figuring out what works with my body. It’s all just a nightmare for me. Clothes shopping can sometimes be so dreadful for me that I just avoid it all together. Which would explain the fact that I have some clothes from high school in my wardrobe. Not to age myself, but that was over 10 years ago!
Part of my recovery from my eating disorder has involved me learning to love my body. Well, unless I can actually figure out what clothes to put on it so it looks its best, that’s not always the easiest task. I do still struggle with body love at times, but the more I learn how to dress myself (ha! that sounds so elementary), the more I learn to be okay with what’s underneath the clothes. It’s taken me almost 30 years to find my style, but I think I’m getting closer and closer to figuring it out.
I was pretty girly when I was younger, but then I went through a tomboy/athletic stage. And then I think there was a stage around 10 years old where I’d only wear black. Then in my later teens/early 20’s, I was back to super feminine. The time I struggled with clothes the most was when I came out. I started buying only boy’s clothes because I thought I had to LOOK gay in order to be gay. And because of that, I wanted to be smaller so the boy’s clothes would fit me correctly. SO that brought on lots of issues in itself. Anyway, over time, I have become much more comfortable with my sexuality, and as a result, more comfortable with the clothes I wear.