Letting Go of Control

We have been talking a lot about letting go as part of the process in becoming more mindful with our eating in our lives. It is one of the last steps in becoming mindful, and in my opinion, it is probably the hardest to grasp. You probably ask, as I once did, “How do I just let go?” It’s definitely easier said than done, and I’m not going to be pretend that it’s an easy feat. But that is why I’m spending so much time on this step.

Letting Go of Control

Last week, we talked about letting go of your desire to overeat and binge. But maybe you weren’t able to relate to that as much. Maybe you struggle with a restricting diet where you feel the need to have absolute control over your food. You only allow yourself safe foods. You can only eat them at certain times of the day. Maybe they’re only allowed to be eaten on a specific plate. Whatever the rules are, I’m guessing that there are at least some rules. You desire complete control over your eating routine in some way. And if your situation is anything like mine was when I was in severe disordered eating, it was an all-or-nothing situation. If, any only if, you are able to follow every single one of your rules, you feel in complete control. If just one little rule bends a small amount though, you feel completely out of control and like a complete failure.

I am here to tell you something that maybe you haven’t realized. It’s not you that is in control here. It is your eating disorder. Your eating disorder has control over you, and you are left lifeless and vulnerable like a ragdoll being pulled by the strings of this monster inside of you.

Letting Go Of Control

“Sometimes Letting Go Means Having Control.” {Click here to Tweet This!}

Break Free

It is time for you to break free. Break free from these rules your eating disorder has made for you and forced you to abide by. It is time for you to let go of the sense of control your eating disorder has wanted you to feel. Understand that although you may feel completely in control at times, you truly have no control over your life until you kick this eating disorder beast out of your life. Out of your body.

It’s not easy. And it most likely won’t happen overnight. I tried so many times to recover and kick those controlling thoughts out of my head. Many times I did fail. But one day, 14 years into this battle, I woke up and just knew I couldn’t take it anymore, and I demanded control over my own life. I demanded to call the shots over my own body. I demanded to make all the rules. Any time an eating disordered thought would come into my head, telling me that I shouldn’t be eating what I chose to eat, I stayed strong, and I reminded myself that no one was to make rules about my life and my eating habits other than myself. No one would ever call those shots again. I had suffered enough. And my friend, so have you. It is time to let go.

Let go of the desire to have complete control. And in doing so, take control in a better and more healthy way. Have control in the sense that you can taste every single bite. You can feel each bite as it fills you up. You can feel the sensation when you are satisfied with your meal. You are in complete control of your body. You feel it when you exercise it. You feel it when you allow it to do work. You are still in control.

But with this control, you are now free! It is a very amazing feeling, and once again, I’m emotional about the awesomeness of recovery. I am so intensely grateful for my free will to have been able to choose a healthy and fulfilling life. Remember that your life is such a gift. A gift that you can not take for granted. Please choose to take control of your life by letting go of the controlling thoughts of your eating disorder.

Exercise

I have a breathing exercise I would like to leave you with today when you are struggling to let go of this control.

Letting Go of Control

Please remember that your life is 100% worth it!

Comments

    • says

      Gina, it's interesting, because even though there are so many different "Types" of disordered eating and so many different levels, there are so many similarities that we are able to relate with. Someone who is anorexic may deal with some of the exact same issues as a binge-eater without even realizing how similar they really are. Much of it all comes down to control, no matter the type of disorder you may suffer.

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