Applesauce Cinnamon Apple-Oat Muffins

Applesauce Cinnamon Apple-Oat Muffins // Happy Food Healthy Life

I try really hard to stay positive and upbeat here in this space. I mean, this is a place where I want to motivate people. But at the same time, sometimes I’ve got to delve right into it. Into the dirty. Into the nitty gritty. Into the taboo. And the embarrassing stuff. Into the things no one wants to talk about. This is me, and this is my story. Maybe it will help someone feel not so alone.

Do you know anyone who suffers depression? If you do, you know what their days look like. Or maybe you’ve experienced it first-hand.

This is what my depressed days look like.

It’s starts with a little spousal argument, and although it’s something that could be resolved, my depressed-self just doesn’t know how some days. So instead, I shut down, and I lay on the couch. And then of course, as soon as I’m in the state of feeling down, I start feeling sad about the baby I lost just six weeks ago. And that pushes me farther. So I just lay there. The next day, after getting only hours of sleep, I call into work because I’m afraid that being there is only going to push me farther into depression. And then the guilt of not going to work pushes me even deeper. So I just lay there. And then I find that today is National “Lost Your Baby Day”. And I’m pushed even farther. And I lay there even longer.

Responsibilities get pushed away. Life gets sucked out of me, and sometimes I don’t know how to bring it back. I try to go do things that may shine some light, but all I really want to do is just lay there.

I do have days like this. I’d like to say that they don’t happen all that often, but the truth of the matter is that they do. My son is with his dad every other week and I feel that as soon as he leaves, I can finally take off my “strong mama” hat and just collapse. So that is what has happened this week. He left Monday morning, and I have collapsed into this “comfortable” depressed state. A state that my wife doesn’t know how to handle. A state that I don’t know how to handle. A state that takes over my life and my well-being.

I’m not sure how to get out of it. I probably need to talk to someone. But instead, I just make muffins. Muffins make it all better, right? I’m totally kidding. I’m not talking about emotional eating here. But sometimes just getting in the kitchen and creating something can be comforting…

And then I go lay back on the couch.

Applesauce Cinnamon Apple-Oat Muffins // Happy Food Healthy Life

Print
Applesauce Cinnamon Apple-Oat Muffins
Servings: 20
Ingredients
  • 3 cups quick-cooking oats
  • 2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
  • 1 cup brown sugar , packed
  • 2 teaspoons baking power
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
  • 2 teaspoons cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 2 cups unsweetened applesauce
  • 1 cup fat-free milk
  • 1/3 cup coconut oil , in liquid form
  • 2 egg whites
  • 1 apple , peeled, cored, and diced (I used golden delicious)
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
  2. In a large bowl, combine the oats, flour, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt.
  3. In another bowl, combine the applesauce, milk, coconut oil, and egg whites. Stir this mixture into the dry ingredients. Combine until just moistened. Gently fold the diced apples into mixture.
  4. Fill muffin cups (or muffin tin sprayed with non-stick spray) 3/4 full.
  5. Bake for 16-18 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean. Cool on a cooling rack.

 
adapted from Taste of Home

Applesauce Cinnamon Apple-Oat Muffins // Happy Food Healthy Life

Comments

  1. Tracy says

    Hi Holly – I stumbled upon this recipe through Food Gawker but I didn’t feel right reading your personal story and not leaving you a comment. I wish I had some words to help but I don’t really. I’ve struggled with depression before. I wanted to let you know you’re not alone, even though that won’t make you feel better… Also, even though it feels like the last thing you want to do – please do talk to someone – whether it be a friend, family member, a stranger online in a support forum, or a medical professional. Wishing you health & happiness. Take care of yourself.

  2. Ashli says

    Hang in there girl, it will get better! You are going through a very stressful time in your life right now and so much of it is out of your control. When I have days like this I just try and focus on the things I do have and are going well. I also know that there is something bigger than me running the show and I just have to trust the process. 🙂

  3. says

    Holly I was stopping by to say thanks for linking to Less Laundry, More Linking and then I read your post. I wish I had the words to give you but I know with depression that I sometimes have it really is the strenght that comes from within and so I hope your strength will carry you through your days till you see a bit of light.

  4. Holly Waterfall says

    Thank you all for your kind words. This weekend and new week has been MUCH brighter! It’s definitely an up and down game for me. I’ll take these happy days for as long as I can get them and I’ll fight through the dark ones the best that I can. Your support is so intensely appreciated!

  5. says

    Thank you for the recipe. I literally felt like I was there listening to your struggles while drinking hot cocoa and eating your delicious treat. I hope that things clear up for you soon.

    • Holly Waterfall says

      Thank you Mandi for “sitting and listening” to me. Sometimes, that’s all this gal needs! Luckily, this has been a much better week for me!

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